When did I turn into the Big Friendly Giant? I'm about half a head taller than any of my female friends and most of my coworkers. In fact, some of the other girls at work are so tiny that I often bump into them because they are shorter than my eye level. Why can't I be tiny, cute, and petite? I would much rather be pocket-sized than towering.
My height is supposed to be something to envy. I'm about 5'7", which isn't freakishly tall, but I hate it, and would like to shrink a couple of inches.
I can't wear sexy heels, but instead am always on a hunt for stylish flats that are within my twenty dollar budget. No wedges for me. Just Old Navy flip flops. Any dress I try on at Forever 21 becomes skank short instead of just short.
But my height isn't the only thing that makes me self conscious these days. It's the extra layer of fat that has magically appeared around my belly, arms, thighs, and butt over the past few years. I was once thin and had great definition in my stomach and arms. I didn't have to work for it at all, but just claimed that I was "lucky and Chinese."
The weight and body change began after P.E. was no longer mandatory for seniors. That fourty-five minutes of playing games with friends was taken for granted, because now I am supposed to go run and exercise on my own. What? Unfathomable!
I was lying in bed one day a couple of years ago when I realized that my body felt different. Things were pushing up against me that were not originally there. And then it hit me that I was growing love handles. Was it just a horrid case of the Freshman 15? In order to fight this I went and ordered a pilates DVD from Amazon.com, which worked for the first month I did it, but then Brandon came home for the summer and I decided that I would rather spend time with him instead of working out.
When I run into mothers of old middle school or high school friends the first thing they say is: "Oh, Min! You got fatter! You used to be so thin." Yes, I'm very much aware of this. Thank you for bringing it up....and then I go eat away my pain.
I finally had inspiration to get fit and lose a few pounds when I got engaged. I need to look stunning and fabulous in my wedding gown. I tried to give up sugar, but that lasted for about a week (I cheated twice, but don't tell anyone). I went out and bought some running shoes half a month ago, and have only used them twice since.
Why can't I get myself to work out? Brandon is a fitness nut. He is the type who likes to push himself to the point of vomiting and is exhilarated by that feeling. He will be running in his third marathon the end of May. I am certainly not that type who gets high from being sore and smelly all over. All the power to those who do, but that lifestyle is just not for me.
What is a girl to do? Suck it up. Get sore. Get smelly. Lose five to ten pounds. Give up chocolate. Give up free Oreo smoothies at work. Walk the dog. Go run. Eat only when hungry, not when bored, stressed, and/or procrastinating.
I have seven months to kick my butt into shape. And if all that doesn't work, there's always
Spanx.
I'm going to gain at least five pounds from this week alone because they are feeding us gourmet meals every night.
