MOH Guest Post: Bridesmaid dress hunting

The wedding industry can suck it. Hard.



It's been nearly impossible to find anything remotely in local department stores that 1. isn't vomit-inducing hideous, 2. isn't marked up ridiculously high, and 3. flattering for different figures.

See Fig. 1. I am definitely of the "Triangle" persuasion, meaning I can probably shoot out a baby easier than, say, an "Inverted Triangle," but I also have membership in the "Itty Bitty Titty Committee." A dress that might look good on me will not necessarily look good on an "Hourglass."

And apparently, the bubble/sequines craze is apparently sweeping the under-18 crowd.



(Min made me try one on for shits and giggles so we might fool the other girls into believing that purple thing to the left is our bridesmaid dress. For the love of all that is good in the world, I couldn't do it. It was just too mean.)

After hours of searching for something remotely classy, we journeyed to the Macy's in Brea and picked out the best contenders (at the moment) for the "it" dress. The requirements were: affordable, possibly flattering on diverse shapes, classy, red. We failed on almost all counts.

Being the cheap bargain-hunters that we are, we couldn't commit to buying a $70+ dress this early in the game. Ordering dresses from special occasion dressmakers is ridiculous costly and timely, though the options are far prettier and better in quality than department store purchases. We also couldn't find anything RED. Um, wtf? Red is one of the primary colors, fer cryin' out loud. If that middle (black) dress was red, the search would likely be over by now, but nooo. It came in every hue BUT red. The only viable red dress we found was cute but was not comfortable in the least.

If I ruled the world, this J.Crew Silk tricotine Sophia short dress in Vintage Burgandy would cost 4 hugs, 7 kisses, and 1 rainbow.

But I don't rule the world, and the currency in America is not measured in love and affection. It's $150. One freakin' fifty.

For that price, J.Crew better be outsourcing its labor to blind Tibetian monks because this shit's bananas. I'm just sayin'.