It was a disease. A disease that made my heart ache and flutter at the same time because I loved what I saw, but also knew that I could not afford it.
Before getting engaged, I was already looking through wedding magazines and spending hours on blogs. It was inspiration overload, but I loved it. I had a Word document 10 pages long full of links and pictures of ideas I wanted to incorporate into the wedding.
My breakthrough came a little over a week ago, just after I dropped Brandon off at the airport. I made another trip to Barnes & Noble in hopes of a pick-me-up, with every intention of purchasing my fifth magazine, and came home empty handed. I spent about five minutes going through the new Martha Stewart magazine and I realized, "I don't need this." Of course every bride doesn't need a wedding magazine, but I really really didn't need it this time.
I no longer need any inspiration because I already have every little detail of December 27th planned down. It was a truly liberating moment. I will no longer feel compelled to pick up every bridal magazine next to the register at Target or Vons. I am free from you, oh beautiful bundle of wedding joy. Thank you. You have done your job well.
Just a sidenote, I purchased my wedding dress yesterday with the help of my sister, mom, and grandma. We ventured back to David's Bridal, avoided Josephina at all cost, and tried on my beautiful gown again. And it was "the one". What a relief to be done with that part of this long wedding process. However, I did walk out of the store completely itchy until long after I took a shower.
My grandma has decided to pick up the bill for the dress, while my mother is going to pay for my alterations. Debbie and I were given matching necklaces to wear for our weddings by my grandmother too. Boom! One less thing to worry about.